Janna Audey: Blog

It’s the day after our appointment with the vet-oncologist.  Our sweet, beautiful, angel-of-a-dog, Rio, was diagnosed with lymphoma last week.  We had five days to do a bit of research, weigh all the options, and take everything into consideration.  The moment we received word about her cancer, Rob and I realized that this last leg of Rio’s journey was all about her.  Her health, her happiness, her end…our decision could then only reflect our complete and utter care for her overall state of being.  We must do her right, with the hand we've been dealt.

Rio was a stray, and came into our lives through the Arlington Animal Welfare League back in May 1996.  They estimated her age to be at least one year, so she’s 14 years and 10 months old.  Other than fatigue and slowing down from aging, the only sign of the lymphoma was swollen lymph nodes, which we thought were mildly enlarged from an infection of some sort.  We’re so glad we got her checked out, because doing so has given us time, and with time, one can explore options. 

Rob and I have decided, because of her age, that palliative care is the best path, and will be giving Rio a steroid, prednisone, twice daily, which will actually shrink the tumors for a bit—it “tricks” the cancer. This means that Rio will be able to eat (and bark!) without pain, until the steroids no longer work and the tumors grow back.  When that happens, shortly after, Rio will develop symptoms such as listlessness and loss of appetite.  The vet suggested that when this happens, it will be time to schedule her peaceful passing.  Right now, Rio is still vibrant and full of life, begging for treats like a puppy, and a furry bundle of love!

I have always called Rio my little Buddha, and have no doubt that I will continue to learn by observing her during these last two months, and ultimately through her death.  It just seems like the natural evolution of things.  As for Rob, he is my husband, my best friend, and this experience is an inevitable part of life as pet owners, a couple, human beings.  We've been through quite a bit over the past 15 years together, and the binding love we share always brings us closer.  Rob came up with the term sorrow-bration to describe what we are feeling.  He says we only feel sadness because we’ve experienced so much happiness…very Khalil Gibran of him, don't ya think?!  Did I mention that Rob is also one of my life professors?  :)

Bringing yoga into this process, we are honoring all that is.  We're not burying the tears, nor are we drowning in them.  We are letting them pass through us, just as laughter does.  Pictures, movies, cuddles, walks...oh-- if anyone knows how to bottle up the scent of a pet, drop me a line.  :)

Yesterday afternoon we booked our final beach vacation with Rio.  We’ll be heading to NC in a few weeks…toes and paws in the sand, sunrise walks on the beach, treats galore, smiles, tears, warmth, and love.  How blessed we are to have this opportunity to plan for the end.  How blessed we are, indeed…

Until next time…
~Janna

 

Happy January, folks!  I hope all is well. :)

This month has always been one of deep reflection for me.  Now two solid years and over 1000 hours of yoga classes taught, not to mention the countless hours of self-study and training hours I've undertaken, I can honestly say that every day allows for this quiet reflection.  Why?  Well, I choose for it.  I make space for it, because it makes me a happier person.  I must walk my talk, live my yoga, and share this journey, if I am to guide others.  I am a student as much as I am a leader. 

This has always been my authentic nature, the study of self, of human life, growth, and evolution.  Yet in years past, because of the career choices I made, I wasn't able to dedicate as much time to the process.  And this was a constant struggle for me-- I would be so drained at the end of a workday.  I felt restricted, and too rushed.  I was living in a 9-5 world where most people liked to talk, while understanding my need and preference to go within, to relish the silence, then find and honor my own truth.  I always felt like an oddity, because I am friendly and outgoing, and yet very much an introvert.  My answers are typically not found through spoken conversation, unless my mind is so clouded and restless that I can't hear that inner voice.  During those moments, magically, the wisdom will either come through my husband, Rob, or my family members.  God speaks through the lips of those closest to us...

Most people see me as happy, joyful.  And this is very true.  Yet I feel the need to let you all know that it takes constant dedication to create joy, train our minds, and live a happy life.  It also helps that I am surrounded by pure love in our home-- Rob and our dog, Rio, are definitely earth-angels.  And, I've worked very hard on establishing boundaries in my personal and professional lives, learning this lesson the hard way.  Being my own boss, I have the freedom and awareness to choose what energy I allow in.  I definitely believe that my lymphoma/cancer was, in part, the result of not following my heart, living small, minimizing my true gifts, having unclear boundaries, and year after year trying to work in an office when I'm a creative soul.  I take full responsibility for the choices I made, as I blame no one-- not even myself.  For if I knew better back then, my decisions would have reflected this knowingness. Every step takes us to where we need to be--even, and often times, especially, the unpleasant things.  I have a feeling I'm not alone, that at least one of you feels the same.

Now that I am living to my full potential, honoring the real me, within the context of my life, balancing everything (not just yoga and music) so that there is complete harmony, I want to make the connection, ask a few questions.  Who are you?  What makes you happy?  What is your truest nature?  Are you allowing yourself to shine, or are you living small?  Is there a way that you can incorporate your gifts into your life today--even for just a few moments?  Perhaps eventually you will allow time each week to express these gifts until, one day, they infuse you, fill you up, and merge your once separate worlds into one. 

Until next time...

~Janna

 

It's 8AM here on the east coast...the morning after the first phase of our big blizzard.  There is a sense of peace around...no activity in the community, not even a truck to plow.  My husband and our dog are sound asleep.  I've been awake since 6AM, in awe of the surroundings.

I had a gig last night about an hour away...it took me two hours to get home.  I hope that my other friends who had shows arrived home safe and sound.  As I was driving through country roads for the first few miles, I was overcome by the beauty, and had to really focus on the drive, and the drive alone.  The snow was already beginning to stick, and underneath it...black ice.  No radio, no CDs playing, no daydreaming, no cell phone.  In yoga, we call this complete dedication one-pointedness...

As musicians, you can all relate to what this is...the zone.  It never ceases to amaze me, the minute I step outside of the zone, invariably I miss a lyric or stray from the soul-connection to the music.  Those minor distractions reflect back that I need to reel myself back in.  To reconnect with the band, to get back in the zone...

It's not easy in this western society to be one-pointed, especially when it seems as though the media and all of our technological conveniences are grooming us to multi-task.  It's possible, but it takes discipline and self-awareness to not get distracted.  I, personally, prefer focus and commitment to whatever I am doing.  Whether that be making music, writing this blog, washing dishes, cooking dinner, or driving on snowy roads...

As I was driving I was faced with impatient drivers, who thought they could squeeze in a right-on-red, only to find themselves slip-sliding-away. Thankfully, I didn't witness any accidents, but I certainly came across some "almosts". We can't drive the way we would when the roads are dry.  And this is a good life-lesson, in general.  If something changes in our worlds, we can't expect the same output as when all is well...

And herein lies the beautiful paradox.  It's typically during those times when we are forced to slow down, and not "produce" a million things, when something inside of us blooms.  There is a time for action, and there is a time for inaction.  Maybe we simply need to reframe our thinking as to what productive really means?

Let's enjoy this gift from above, this day to really pace ourselves, to connect with our neighbors, our spouses, our significant others, our pets, our children, and familiar strangers.  To be present with what is.  All of it.  You may just find that in the slowing down and embracing the moments of inaction, you are more productive in your day-to-day living...

Happy holidays, be safe, be well, and enjoy the weekend!

Until next time...

~Janna

It’s a beautiful Sunday morning here.  My husband just awoke, and I’m on my second cup of coffee.  I am feeling the pull to write about balance, what it means, and how we can manage it, as so many folks talk about it, yearn for it. 

 

Balance means different things to different people.  We each have unique lives—some with kids, some without.  Some married, some single.  Some caring for aging parents, others with healthy, younger families…perhaps you find yourself dealing with young children and aging parents?  My heart goes out to you, and my wish is that you have or are brought supportive bosses, friends, neighbors, a great therapist, or the fellowship of your faith to carry you through whatever challenge you are facing. 

 

Balance is, no matter what our circumstances, the ability to nourish all parts of our lives.  When one area goes unattended, we get cranky.  So as we add new things onto our lists, we have to let other parts go, if we wish to maintain balance.  Otherwise, we find ourselves entering an energy deficit, and from experience I can tell you it takes a long time to recover from this scenario. 

 

Often times the pendulum swings from one side to the other before true balance is achieved.  I’ll never forget when I first started dating my husband.  We were consumed with one another, the true and pure love we felt just by being in each other’s presence.  Why?  Because both of us had lacked this level of love in our lives for years, and our souls and bodies and emotions hungered for it.  Then, about three months in, as we awoke on a Saturday morning, Rob looked over to his bedroom wall and noticed a pile of laundry--actually, piles of laundry.  He turned to me and said, “Janna, I have to wash clothes today.”  It was the moment where he acknowledged that he had to come back to center, that we couldn’t go on the way we were without other parts of our life getting completely out of balance. 

The beauty of this story is that we allowed ourselves to become temporarily out of balance to attain true balance in our lives at that point in time…love was a new part of our individual and collective worlds, which hadn’t been before.  Together now over 15 years, our values and states of balance have shifted as we have pursued different goals, but our love has always been nourished.

 

Maybe your out-of-balance moment was a new job, your first child, step-children, divorce, illness, getting fired, gaining weight, losing weight—we all experience swings.  The swings are here to remind us what’s been neglected. They are an opportunity to come back to center.

 

There is no end to this journey of finding, seeking, and maintaining balance, for our needs change as we age.  At some point along the trajectory of one’s growth, core values remain the same for longer periods of time, mostly because we have found what we had been looking for.  And once we know true balance, know ourselves, we understand that it is a gift worth nurturing every single day, to the best of our ability.

 

Living an authentic, balanced life is that midpoint between going with the flow of change, and being disciplined enough to focus and feed the things that are most important to us.  To not get distracted.  Each and every day allows us the opportunity to continue to dig a bit deeper, through the ups, downs, twists, turns, highs, lows, speed bumps, and level roads...

Hello friends...I hope life is treating you well.  I hope you are treating your life well...

The title of today's blog is about those a-ha moments.  While it seems as though we are struck with clarity by a flash of lightening, most likely it is the accrual of bits and pieces, question after question, the constant seeking, that brings one to this place.  It is such a fascinating process, and no matter how many times I experience it, I always yearn for more.

When I was in my 20s and 30s, I was primarily searching outside of myself for the answers.  Through friendships, other people, circumstance, etc.  As I entered the late 30s and continue on, now in my early 40s, I realize, humbly, that the truth lies within.  Not only am I embracing the introvert in me, I'm nourishing her...

Thankfully, my work provides balance, both teaching yoga and sharing music.  Both of these vocations require a strength and openness, so that I may authentically connect to others.  And in order to be authentic, I need a great deal of time to journey within, to replenish, restore, and grow.

I am blessed to be able to feed one of my core values of balance each and every day.  It is a conscious choice, one that requires effort and discipline.  The reward?  True joy, inner peace, which are sub-values of spiritual serenity, a second value in my top five.  And spiritual serenity cannot be maintained without balance, so, thankfully, these values work hand-in-hand.  Again, it takes conscious living to make all of this happen...

Balance, inner peace, and joy may not be core values of yours, as we are all different.  My wish, as always, is that you identify what is important to you and invest your time developing those things, so that you achieve personal success.  As we age, we dig much deeper.  Skimming the surface, the dabbling mentality of our early 30s, doesn't cut it anymore.  And yet, those years are critical to helping us discover our interests.  How thankful I am for all of the lessons learned during this rich, challenging decade!

Only you can bring yourself success.  Not your parents, not your boss, not your friends, not even your spouse or significant other.  And yet, these relationships can either support/enhance, or detract from who we become.  This is why it is so important to surround ourselves with people and things that nurture the many layers of our authentic self.

Know that you're getting closer every day, and yet this path has no end.  Remember to be compassionate with yourself and with others, which means you need to let go of the inner critic. There is no perfect, okay?  So let go-- smile, laugh, and, by golly, have fun! 

Until next time,
~Janna

What an incredible time we are living in right now. Do you feel it? We're in the midst of major growth. A big wave of change awaits all of us. Since self-awareness is my "work", I observed the beginning of the shift around May, really hit mid-July, and August was the month to take action. September? Well, it's been the month that has forced us to look at old habits and patterns, and discard of the baggage before we step into the next version of ourselves...and the window is about to close.

What happens during these periods is that we are transforming. We are challenged to look in the mirror, catch-up to "now", and let go of "what was". I released so much of the former me in September...I actually feel lighter. This release has been three years in the making, and as we dig deep, we find that there is more. As we age, there's a lot of living and experience to look back upon. The process has been filled with agitation, sadness, love, joy, and acknowledgement. I wouldn't have expected anything different.

I've changed so much since March 2008. Cancer catapulted me into different territory. While I'm not thankful for the tumor, oddly, the disease healed my mind and my heart-- it was a cleansing process. One can't go back after moving forward, or should I say, moving inward...

I hope that you are implementing positive change at this very moment. If something doesn't feel right, get out of it. Listen to your inner voice. Trust your instincts. And then once you pass through, be thankful, not angry. Otherwise, you will find yourself "stuck".

Life is so rich and complex. Once we fully allow ourselves to be free, content, and happy, and as we discover self-acceptance, there is no turning back. Give yourself time to work through it all, especially if this is all brand new to you. Patience, okay? If it took you ten years to create a pattern that no longer serves, it may take awhile to break it, shed the layers, and build new neural pathways, healthier ways. Every step in the right direction is progress!

Until next time...

~Janna

What a beautiful morning it is, the Monday after a very rich weekend.  A weekend filled with all of the things that stir my senses, my soul.

It was quite fascinating, because I connected with many people. On Saturday, we were surrounded by old friends...it was pure heaven.  There's nothing like being with folks who have common truths in their lives.  Ending the night with acoustic music, where everyone joined in and shared their talents, and to witness how this fed the souls of both the givers and receivers...a big WOW moment.

To have this feeling juxtaposed, seeing acquaintances from a past that is now so far removed from who I am becoming, well, the experience is also one to be thankful for.  Because through the momentary discomfort, I looked within and realized how far I've come.  And how blessed I am to have traveled these miles...

This morning, I rolled out my yoga mat and started the day with my personal practice.  Linking breath and movement, mindful of the subtle nuances of each pose, I realized that yoga has become a way of life, since 2007.  From walking the dog, to looking into someone's eyes, to the words I choose to speak or write about, to the songs I perform and the energy of the music I listen to, to the food we buy and cook to nourish our bodies, to something simple, like cleaning the home...every single thing is. 

To be able to teach yoga several times a week and share this energy-- a form of Divine Love-- with each class, and encourage the practioners to journey within to find their truth, their inner peace, their yoga...it's a privilege.  To now see that the music has become a form of yoga over the years, and understand why people feel relaxed or energized after one of the shows.  Because, as with yoga, I am merely a vessel, a conduit.  It's not about me...it's never been about me.  It's about us, whoever "us" is at that time. 

This is the other side, the opportunity every single human has in their life.  Not just me, or the person down the street-- you, too. It takes work, discipline, daily practice, to train the mind to be still and focused.  I've been studying Hinduism and Buddhism off and on for 22 years, and I can honestly say that while I've had glimpses of peace, this true state of being has become more consistent over the past two years.  Maybe because I've been more consistent with my practice?  And yet a state of being isn't without real life stuff-- I find myself stumbling, falling, crawling, then standing, often.  The awareness of it all is what has changed.

Everyone seems to be searching for this-- contentment, love, happiness-- no matter what social or economic background we may come from.  As we age, we continue to build layers onto who we are, shedding the skins of our past that no longer serve us, while developing depth to the parts that are our core values. 

My hope is that you find a bit of of yoga in your day today, even if just for a moment.  Because in that brief spec of time lies the hope that there is more.  And there is, more.

Until next time...

Happy July...and what a terrific month it has been so far!  I'm a July-baby, and so I always tend to be a bit more observant this time of year.  Where am I?  Where do I want to be?  What do I need to let go of?  These are all questions I have pondered over the past few weeks.  Funny how when we put time and energy toward something we actually make progress.

This is the thing with life...where we put our energy is where we put our energy.  So, if you are constantly worrying, guess what?  All you get is a cycle of confusion and worry.  I know I've said this before, but the mind is incredibly powerful.  I'm speaking of knowledge, yes, but also talking about higher consciousness.

The flip side is once we develop this ability, that we not abuse the power, as in manipulation or cohersion.  Or, not to be so entrenched in positive thinking that we aren't grounded in reality.  As with everything, there must be a mid-point, balance.

In studying the eight limbs of yoga, I've been especially intrigued by saucha, or purification.  At the most basic level, it looks at cleanliness of body, home.  Then, this niyama evolves just as we do.  What we feed our bodies, what we feed our minds, and what energy we choose to be around.   By energy, in tangible form, this means where you work, and who you choose to associate with (friendships). 

No matter how positive our minds are, if we are working in a smoke-filled bar night after night, chances are our physical health will suffer.  Perhaps the smoke is toxicity of another level...an abusive relationship, a negative boss, etc. 

So, even though it's not your birthday (or maybe it is?), hit that pause button.  We need to slow down to attain full clarity.  Are you where you want to be?  Are you in alignment with who you are becoming?  If not, that's okay.  Acknowledge your growth, give thanks for whatever it is in your life that you are ready to move on from.  And then, by golly, move on.  Time is precious...you are precious. 

As for me, I'm piecing together my personal and professional mission, and have summed it up in five simple words:  I am here to serve.  Through the music, and through yoga teaching.  And I am so grateful that each and every experience in my life has led me here. 

Have a beautiful day...until next time.  ~Janna

I'm just coming down from the past two weeks...six days in Minneapolis for an educational yoga conference, a reunion with hubby and dog on Monday night, then back on the fast track with band practice, solo practice, duo practice, two gigs, and seven yoga classes leading into the weekend.  Today was the first day that I felt completely integrated, balanced. 

The yoga conference taught us a lot.  Philosophy, theory, advanced postures, self-reflection, patience, stamina, and much more.  But one of the biggest takeaways for me was one simple question..."ask yourself why."

The master trainers led us into the unknown.  We were guided to our physical edges, and yet if we stepped beyond them, we were asked to take ourselves back.  Every so often, especially during deeper expressions of the poses, the instructors would encourage us to go within, find out our motives before continuing on.  Was it because everyone else was doing it?  Because we were feeling strong?  Perhaps we were competing with others, or even a past version of ourselves? 

As we answered this question honestly, we were able to delve into our personality. This can be scary for some folks.  How about you?

Since the conference, I've been asking myself this question outside of my yoga practice.  The reality of life is that we have a finite amount of energy and time each day, and if we continue doing "more", chances are, there will be less of us to devote to the stuff that matters most.  That's when you start to feel anxious, get short with your loved ones, or yell at cashiers.  If you find yourself feeling like this a lot, please stop the wheels and begin taking things off of your plate.  It's your inner voice saying "ENOUGH". 

Stepping from bliss to mania and now back to center, I walked away with an incredible respect for the value of balance/moderation.  For me, this specific value has been a work in progress for over ten years.  I'm getting more natural at it, but there is still room for improvement. :)  Being creative and an introvert, I need more quiet time than the average person.  It is during the moments of stillness where some of my best ideas are born, and ideas are part of my work.  My right brain needs space to grow, and then the left brain can step in and execute...

If you're finding that you are getting caught up in the summer energy and feeling over-extended, simply ask yourself "why" the next time you agree to do something that you really don't wanna do.  You may learn something meaningful about the most important person on the planet...YOU.

Nighty-night. 

~Janna

It's the day after the band's big show at Fireflies, and my creative juices are flowing. While body is physically tired from shaking my booty all night long, the rest of me is very much in tact.

I awoke early this morning. While I was underslept, I was still on the adrenaline high from the night before. The sun was shining, and I couldn't believe it when the termite exterminator came on time (here at 8:20AM for the "between 8AM-Noon window"). After business was taken care of I felt inspired, and so I went for a run.

Midway through the journey my body began to speak to me. "Um, I think you may want to slow down a little." Okay...no problem...I honored that. And then specific parts of me began to speak up. My shins were telling me that I may want to consider walking for a bit, as the uphill climb and pavement were quite unkind, especially after wearing high heels and dancing all night. After they spoke up a little louder, I conceded, and for my last mile I walked.

I brought yoga into my run. Instead of letting my ego take over and finish the full course, I decided to let my body tell me what to do. Being self-driven and disciplined (I exercise every day, plus physical activity is part of my work, too) I trust that my body knows best. Mind over matter is not a good path to choose if injury is at stake-- pushing ourselves beyond our edge. It's always good to ask ourselves "why"...

And so the rest of my day has been about relaxing the body, and taking care of the rest of me. My mind, my soul, my senses. I read a lot. I started writing a new song. I sat in silence. I watched birds. I laughed and talked with my husband. I even did a little shopping. :)

I'm so glad I had the show last night, not just to share our gifts and connect with others, but because it tired out my body a bit. Because of this I could enjoy all of the other things I did today.

Until next time...

~Janna

Second cup of coffee, and it's the morning after the show. There is peace in the air and excitement in my heart. While Rob, my husband, and our dog are sleeping, I am wide awake, on so many levels...

Last night's show at kybecca wine bar was AMAZING. If you are ever in Fredericksburg, you have to check out this room. Food, service, ambience...a big WOW. And they are privately-owned...gotta support our local businesses! My favorite pick from last night: the curried mussels.

One of the owners was working last night, and was quite supportive of the original material. He actually prefers I stick with my own stuff for the next show. I felt as though I was time traveling, because about six years ago, another restaurant owner told me the very same thing. Guess I wasn't quite ready to hear it then. And, well, in between then and now I kinda got off track musically and focused more on 9-5 life...

The important thing is this: I am ready to hear these words now.

Because I am also a singer, I thoroughly enjoy performing other songwriters' material. But, I also realize that I have enough opportunities to appeal to this side of my Self. Yes, I produced my third CD in 2008, but it's time to continue to move forward on this path. Not just with writing, but sharing the material out, too.

If we sit with our feelings long enough, eventually the "why" is revealed to us. And, as with anything in life, with practice, becomes more intuitive a process each and every time we choose to venture inward.

Time to top off my cup of joe.

Until next time... ~Janna

Hi guys--

Well, it's been over two years since I launched a new site. It's springtime, and I'm ready for a change. The site look and feel will continue to grow...as with life, it is a work in progress. Sign my guestbook, and let me know what you think!
~Janna

It sure has been awhile since I've written a blog. The holidays came and went. My schedule got busy-busy-busy. Then I caught a cold, and hibernated like a bear. Just returned from a kick-butt yoga conference. And now, well, my mind is wide open. So is my heart. And I seem to have some space to simply sit and write tonight.

This time of year is an inward one. To think that just about this time last year I was getting ready to resign from my full-time job...gosh, so much has happened between then and now. It feels as if ten years have passed, not one. Probably because a lot of growth-- and a heck of a lot of shedding-- has been going on since then.

My cancer diagnosis and healing journey catapulted me to levels I never thought existed, at least for me. It's weird, because when I think about the experience-- now that there is enough distance between what was and what is-- I still can't believe all that it encompassed. How much I've grown, and ultimately changed. And yet, I find that, at the core, I am still the same loving and caring human being. Much moreso, that's all, and in different ways.

My vision last year of singing a lot more and teaching (yoga) is happening-- the cancer did not stop me from walking toward these goals. Actually, I think the threat of dying made me more determined. All the while, I continued to stay centered in my beliefs, in what matters most to me. My core values. The cool thing is this: I knew what these things were before I was diagnosed. Lots and lots of self reflection occurs before one decides to resign from a great company, with close friendships, and a decent salary. This little yogini needed peace and clarity and grace before such transition, and now I know why. I was about to face one of the biggest challenges of my life a mere 13 days later...

We never really know what's around the bend, do we? What we do know is that with focus, discipline, love, positive thinking, and wellness, we can make it through. If you find yourself in a challenge, instead of closing your heart to others, why not open it? Let others in...people really do want to help.

I speak these words as a recovering control freak and former-independence-junkie. I am ready to let go of the little bits of the old me that are still lingering. That former woman who protected herself with such thick armor. I still have a shield, but I've learned when to let my guard down, and when to set my boundaries. This approach is freeing, and much different than always walking around encased and disconnected from our loved ones. Trust me-- years and years of this will take a toll on your health. There really is something to the whole mind/body/spirit connection.

If you find yourself nodding your head, understanding what I'm saying, then please, make a shift. Make that change. Say farewell, and begin creating a better you.

When we can face and walk through challenge, come through the other side, and look back with new eyes, realizing that we are better off than we were before, and yet have no regrets or feelings of self-loathing for who we once were...well, that's what life is all about. This is maturity. And this is what understanding without judgement means.

I am grateful to have this forum to speak, reach, touch, and connect.

Until next time...

It sure has been awhile since I've written a public blog. I awoke this morning with the space and time to sit and just write to you all. I sometimes feel that whatever I'm going through may relate to others-- and how I have a need to share bits and pieces. Experiential learning...those a-ha moments. Hopefully but one person out there will benefit from these words.

What a magical weekend I am having...started off with crazy, beautiful energy at my gig on Friday night in Purcellville. Old friends stopped by, and I made new ones, too. We shared a connection through music, laughter, song-- life. The folks out in Purcellville are kind-hearted and genuine. And a man named Johnny shared his talents with us, too. His songs were real. As the group of us sat together it was as if we had known each other for years. It was more than worth the commute to head out there. I can't wait for the next show at Market Street Coffee!

I subbed for a friend's yoga class on Saturday AM. Such a strong class, and it felt gratifying to lead them to achieve their best. As a wise woman once said to me, "Yoga is your church, Janna". Boy, was she right. I teach every weekday-- some days two classes, and never tire of it. That's how you know you are doing something you love.

Do I make my old salary teaching yoga? Heck, no. I'm earning far less than I was in the business world, but not only is it enough, it is stimulating, gratifying, infinite. It is where my heart is.

The same goes for music. Boy, does my heart swell everytime I step in front of a microphone, strum that first chord, and sing...and it doesn't stop. That feeling builds throughout the night. No matter where I am at singing-- whether for a party where Bill Clinton is a guest or at St. Elmo's in Del Ray for 12 people, I give each show my all. It isn't about how many people are in the audience, it's about being authentic. And each and every show allows me the opportunity to be authentic, to share. When we share our gifts, we inspire others to do the same.

I believe that ultimately these two paths will be intersecting beyond my singing at the end of yoga class, and that I will have significant financial gain, too. But that isn't my driving force, nor is that what led me to take the leap out of the 9-5 world. We must be willing to take a step back to leap forward-- does that make sense to you? Things don't always come together 100%, but eventually they build up, even out. All we need is patience and direction.

I have to pause for a moment...my hangover is kicking in. My husband and I had two parties to go to last night. Me and my red wine...oy! But, man, it was soooo worth it. We loved sharing time and celebrating with our friends!

Okay, so back to my originial thoughts.

What makes you tick? What makes your senses go WOW? We all have gifts; passion within us. All we need is to dedicate the time to nurture and develop our talents. And that, my friends, is only something you can do. And so I quote a line from one of my songs, Looking Out at the Past...time is now. Time is now.

So what are you waiting for? January 1st? Next Tuesday? After the big project at work subsides? Tisk-tisk...don't delay! Start now...even if you are only devoting ten minutes a day to your dreams. We all have ten minutes a day, and if you don't...make the time. I guarantee you will be a much happier person by doing so. And if you're happier, by golly, so is the world around you.

Until next time...

~Janna

While walking on Friday, Madonna's Jump made it's way into my shuffle. It's a heart-pounding dance song. But once in awhile, this pop diva surprises me with her lyrics...

The song opens up..."There's only so much you can learn in one place/The more that I wait/the more time that I waste." No matter where you are at in your life, your age, your social or economic background, these words pretty much apply to you. It doesn't matter how fast we move, it just matters that we keep moving...forward. As the song progresses, the chorus goes on..."Get ready to Jump/Don't ever look back, now baby..."

For those of you who have been following me for awhile, you know that I have always looked at life this way. Being raised by a psychologist, well, my brain was pretty much groomed at an early age to be introspective. Heck, I can philosophize about pancakes! (I laugh, but this is, um, with slight embarrassment, true!)

Certain circumstances, of course, call forth a different level of growth and movement. Sometimes we grow years in a day, sometimes a day in a year. It really depends on what we choose to experience and for how long.

That's right...what we choose. Everything is by choice. At any moment in your life you can make a change. It may take time to implement, but by golly, you are the one holding the steering wheel.

As with driving, the road isn't always smooth. Sometimes there are potholes, dead-ends and detours, but it is still up to you how to navigate your way through it all.

We have one life to live. Live yours with open eyes. Make decisions. Understand the meaning of consequences. Think outside of yourself. Take care of yourself above anyone else. Follow your heart. Have a plan. Remember what you are here for. Revisit your values. Make sure you are aligning what is important to you with where you are investing your time. We become what we do...so please make sure you are doing what you love.

Until next time...

~Janna

January is a unique month. It can be a bit raw, as we look back at the past year, and yet even more exhilarating, as we have an opportunity to gaze ahead to our future. All the while we are present in our day-to-day lives, maintaining our sense of obligation, trying to get by. Resolutions. Goals. Gift returns. Sleep. Paying the bills. Happy hour. Starting a new exercise plan. Work. Play. Caffeine. More sleep. Doctor appointments. Downtime. Snooze buttons.

Sound familiar?

In between planning your next meal and putting your head to the pillow, you may be feeling a bit of pain, aggravation, anxiety, and the yearning for time alone. Unless you are sleep walking through your life, this stuff belongs to all…the rich and the poor. Leaders and followers. Married and single. With kids and empty nests. None of us are exempt from the process, the journey. Unique goals, yes. Growth, no.

Sure, we can avoid it, but eventually it will catch up to us. Or we can be consumed by it, but all that does is separate us from those who need and depend on us. Perhaps we can simply honor it as part of life, adulthood, and work through it, just as we do a headache, cramps, or cravings.

Speaking of which, did someone mention chocolate?

I quote the Indigo Girls in today's blog entry because Closer to Fine speaks of this beautiful, timeless message. It is a song about seeking clarity, and surrendering to being.

I went to the doctor/I went to the mountains/I looked to the children/I drank from the fountains,/There's more than one answer to these questions pointing me in a crooked line/The less I seek the source of some definitive/The closer I am to fine.

As you work through the next several weeks of what this season offers, set realistic expectations, be compassionate with yourself and others, forgive, smile, have fun, be happy, lighten your heart, call your mother, connect with those you care about, love, share, receive, laugh, be grateful, nurture your health...you fill in the rest. After all, it's your life.

Until next time...

~Janna

It's been awhile since I've had the urge to write a blog. It's strange, but the words just haven't been there. I've been silent and withdrawn, in a healthy way. With the holidays and nearing the end of another year, well, quiet reflection has been my best friend. I love the bareness of the season.

I typically quote other songwriters in my subject line, but today I'm quoting one of my own songs. While I wrote Cross the Line a couple years ago, the meaning has come to make greater sense now. I suppose other songwriters can relate to this process-- writing is part being in the zone, but it's also quite logical. You have to format the song, focus on structure, syntax, meter...and then emotion. You process all of your experiences in your subconscious mind and then one blue morning...BAM. It all comes together...

Laying down tracks is the next step. Hours in the studio recording, editing, engineering, and mastering. Once it is printed to CD you can step back and actually listen to your song for the first time...sometimes months or years after you created it.

Most of my songs are autobiographical...honest, genuine...me. Writing about what I know is one way I can lead an authentic life. Plus, it's a cathartic process-- and that saves me a ton on therapy bills.

Cross the Line is a song about growth, maturity, moving forward, holding ourselves back, feeling stuck, acknowledgement, and ultimately resolution. As we begin to turn the last pages of our 2007 calendar and enter a new phase, think about the areas in your life that you need to shed. Those things that are holding you back, weighing you down. We have all been caught between the then and the now...no? Growth belongs to each of us. Discard your cynicism and move toward your potential. I guarantee you will feel much happier. And, deep down, at the end of the day, isn't this what life is about?

My wish is for you to lead the way and become the best possible you. And that has nothing to do with what other people have. Please understand this. I see jealousy and competitveness way too much, and it's disheartening. Life is not a competition. There are many great people in the world. Be one of them!

The key is to use your energy and time wisely. Turn away from complaining and move toward self-improvement and your goals. Balance reality with possibility-- your dreams. Start small and stay the course...

Here's to success!

Until next time...

~Janna

Yep. I've removed all of my previous blog entries. Why? Well, I believe words carry energy. And those passages were a thing of the past.

I'm ready to live fully in the now.

Don't get me wrong-- I'm thankful for yesterday. But in a weird way, I feel as though I am finally catching up to who I am becoming. It's a strange feeling. And once I "get" who I am, I'm certain I will begin to change all over again. So is the cycle of growth, of life...

I am filled with gratitude for all of the experiences that have contributed to who I am up to this point, and will undoubtedly continue to do so.

My husband, friendships, and family, who fill my heart with love and compromise, and provide the space to maintain individuality while honoring and accepting our interdependence.

My work, which stimulates and challenges my mind, continues to teach me patience, and better appreciate the value of time and money.

Yoga, which motivates me on a physical / spiritual level, and encourages me to journey within and find my own truth.

And the music, which allows for complete and full expression, connects me to those deepest parts, and then magically to others.

These areas are the essential parts of my life, much like food and shelter. They sustain, anchor, and balance all that is me. While they were part of my yesterday, they are also my today, and will be my tomorrow, too.

So, goodbye to the yesterday I no longer need...to the stuff that has weighed me down and barricaded me from my full potential. Old habits, unfavorable memories, and unnecessary fear. Thank you for bringing me here...

~Janna